The hardest thing for me was...I love babies. I love being pregnant, I love breastfeeding.

But because of the situation surrounding the conception, this was not healthy for me. I have struggled with depression in the past and was hospitalized a few times as a teen for suicide attempts. I had postpartum depression twice. 

But something was keeping me connected to the pregnancy and it was difficult for me to fully let it go. THIS is why I believe I bled for 10 weeks (the last week was my first period post abortion).

Then a shift occurred in me, there the person that I was interacting with that was keeping me connected to the pregnancy and making it difficult for me to let go. So I slowly began (as did he) distancing myself. The more I distanced myself, my bleeding slowed. Then once I realized the relationship was no longer what it was, it stopped.

Now I recognize this isn't always the case for those going through abortions. Many times its a couple and ending a relationship isn't what is wanting BUT if you are having difficulty letting go...take the time to evaluate what is still connecting you to that pregnancy.

Once you recognize it, then you can do something about.

If you can't pass it on, change what it holds for you. 

Then, I held a releasing ceremony for myself. I centered this on the full moon (which afterwards is releasing energy), and did a yoni steam and wrote a letter to the pregnancy, baby, and energetic placenta. I truly believe that the Earth could care for the baby better (and slightly jealous that they get to be cradle by the mother from the beginning) so I said that. I really shifted things too. Within a few weeks, the bleeding went from post abortion to period and then stopped.

It is important to allow yourself to feel all and every emotion to come up. You are allowed to be whatever you need to be. This is true ALL the time but especially important during this healing time.

You will walk away from this experience a much different person than you went in. You walk away stronger, wiser, more empathetic and more compassionate.

If you went into it having lived your life being against abortion, be ready for the shift in how you see things in the world. This was me and holy crap, my world changed but its so much better...so much more open, deeper connections, and more true to myself.